Christmas Truths

7 truths of Christmas...

1. It's alright to insist on Turkey every year even though you don't actually like it. It's tradition.

2. It's perfectly acceptable to get your mother-in-law drunk. A drunk grump is better than a grump. Keep topping up her glass until she falls into the peaceful land of slumber, or takes it upon herself to sing three verses of 'Hi Ho Silver Lining'. Don't feel bad. I did say drunk though, not dead.

3. It's fine to write 'we must meet up' in the Christmas card to someone you haven't seen for ten years. Everyone knows it's just something you write. I mean, it's been ten years, and she did hang you from the school railings by your knickers, so you can't like each other that much!

4. It's alright to re-gift the grinning china dog from Aunt Gladys. Just make sure it isn't grinning back at her next year from the £5 gift bag you bought to disguise the fact that it's a re-gift.

5. Party hats are a wonderful invention. They make everyone look like they are having a fabulous time even though you'd all rather be taken hostage, tied up and shot.

6. It's alright to have to undo your jeans at the dinner table. Infact, the meal hasn't been successful unless your waistline has expanded a few inches.

7. It's not silly to wake up on Boxing Day and spend two hours filling in forms to join the local gym, only to cancel on New Year's Eve ahead of the next big feast. You do have a seven-day get out clause for a reason!

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